Don't tell me happy Monday because I don't live for the weekend and you shouldn't either. Weekends are a tiny fraction of your one precious fucking life.
Don't tell me happy Monday. Don't give me that grimacing look.
On Friday, don't tell me "Happy Friday" before you go numb yourself at happy hour like it's a ritual.
If you hate the start of every week, go do something about it. If it takes sarcasm to face a new work day, go make changes to your damn life.
Don't tell me happy Monday. Take it somewhere else. My ears are at capacity.